1-29-08

Spot J. Anders0n, 1993(ish) – January 28, 2008. Yesterday Fred and the vet determined that it was Spot’s time to go, and he was gently and peacefully let go. This is my entry in honor of him. Sadly, we don’t have any pictures of Spot from when he was little. This was back before digital cameras existed – if you can imagine – and I don’t think Fred even owned a camera before I moved down here. Spot belonged to Fred before I moved down here, so when we moved in with Fred, we were moving in on Spot’s territory. Spot was always a gentleman, though, and instead of responding territorially like some cats might, he mostly responded by hiding. One day Fred was at work and the spud was at school, and I was sitting in the living room petting Danielle’s cat (who later passed on), and Spot peeked out from his hiding place under the couch. He watched me petting the other cat, and he looked to me like he wanted to be petted but was too scared to come out and ask for it. I got down on the floor and he moved as far under the couch as he could get, and watched me. Much as I sweet-talked him, he wouldn’t come any closer. It took months before Spot would come out of hiding to hang out with us, but even that made him nervous, and he never stayed out for long. Several months after we moved in with Fred, we compounded the insult by bringing home a kitten. Spanky was a very little, very needy kitten, and when he saw Spot he saw a big cat who would take care of him. Spot would lay on the chair in Fred’s bedroom, and Spanky would climb up and snuggle up next to him. Spot would move from the chair to the bed, and Spanky would follow him and snuggle up close. Spot put up with Spanky’s needy snuggling, though it didn’t take very long before he’d get overwhelmed and run off to hide in a place where Spanky couldn’t find him. Moving from the apartment to our first house was a big deal for Spot, and the night after we’d moved in, we were unpacking when Spot started howling at the top of his lungs. Tired and annoyed, I snapped “I hope he’s not going to do THAT all night!” Turned out, the washer hose hadn’t been attached correctly, and water was spraying everywhere. He was just doing his part to let us know. Spot got a new experience when we moved into the new house, and that was being let outside. Our back yard was tiny, but he didn’t mind spending hours upon hours walking around the tiny lawn, sniffing every blade of grass and watching every bug fly by. He wasn’t really close to the other cats – he was a solitary creature, Spot was – but he didn’t mind so much when Tubby hung around him. Spot and Tubby, aside from having matching colors, were the same kind of cat. Neither would go out of their way to growl and strut around and proclaim how scary they were, but when it came right down to it, you’d want one of them guarding you, because they were quiet and they were quick and you knew that when the rubber hit the road – and a strange neighborhood cat came wandering through the yard – they’d totally kick butt. In his later years, Spot started to come out more often. Most nights, he’d settle on the back of the couch with us while we watched TV, and he staked claim to one of the cat beds on my desk where he could be found most days. If I ate lunch at my desk, he’d glare at me judgmentally until I shared a little of it with him. Every so often I’d wake up in the middle of the night to find Spot standing on the bed next to my pillow, staring down at me. Once he realized I saw him there, he’d curl up. He’d always be gone when I woke up in the morning. The older he’d get, the more easily he accepted change. At first, when we started fostering kittens, he’d hide for a couple of days before slinking out and sniffing around. As time went on, he’d look at the new arrivals as if to say “More? Whatever. They better not mess with me.” When we moved into this house, he took it in stride. “Another move? Just show me where the food and the litter box are. And keep the food bowl filled!” He was our oldest cat and we knew that one day we might have to face the idea of having him put to sleep. When Fred said that we should have Spot on the front of our Christmas card “Because we don’t know how much longer he’ll be around”, he was joking. We both thought for sure we’d have at least a few more good years. Spot seemed happy, he was eating fine, and he was glad that we put a bed in the guest bedroom just for him. He’d spend his mornings in the guest bedroom, in the sun, his afternoons alternating between sleeping on my desk and exploring the back yard, and his evenings in the living room with us as we watched TV. It was because of his quiet ways that it took us so long to realize he wasn’t feeling well, that he’d gotten so thin and wasn’t hanging out with us as much. Fred took him to the vet when we realized how thin he’d gotten, and Spot seemed to rally – it wasn’t until he started acting like his old self again that we realized how much he hadn’t been acting like himself. But in the last week, he stopped eating almost completely and we’d offer him several of his favorite foods before he’d eat a little, probably just to get us off his back. Sunday night he settled in the cat bed on my desk and stayed there all night. He couldn’t seem to get comfortable, moving every few minutes, and at times tipping over because he’d gotten so weak. Yesterday morning before I left for Petsmart, I scratched Spot behind the ears and kissed him on top of the head twice, just in case. I hoped that the vet would take one look at him and say “Oh, he just needs (whatever)” and when I got home, he’d be bright-eyed and ready for a brushing. But in the days before Tubby died, he got a certain look in his eyes – one that I didn’t understand at the time, but now I think it’s the look of a cat who’s ready to go. He was a sweet and gentle cat and sometimes it was easy to overlook him. You wouldn’t think his absence in the house would be so noticeable, but the void where he was is huge. Good boy, Spot. Good buddy.

 

Previously 2007: Obviously he just doesn’t love Joe Bob enough. 2006: No entry. 2005: No entry. 2004: Okay, I promise that’s the last weepy I-miss-my-kitty entry. 2003: Bleach is the shit. 2002: Just for the record, Mike Tyson is the biggest fucking idiot in the entire world. 2001: How the hell am I going to get my ass on Survivor 3 if they’re looking for model types?? 2000: I was quite excited, as I recall. ]]>

104 thoughts on “1-29-08”

  2. It’s never easy but you did the right thing. My mother and father-in-law have a 16 year old cat (indoors) and she is so skinny and pathetic. Lost her hearing, loses her balance all the time and obviously has arthritis so bad it hurts her even to lay down but they just won’t have her put down and it makes me mad. I keep telling them it’s more cruel to have her live her life this way but they think she’s “fine”. *Sigh*
    My condolences.

  4. Dammit. Two days in a row, you’ve gotten me.
    I hate starting my day out crying, but Spot deserves it.
    I sure will miss hearing about Spot, and I’m sorry it came to this.

  6. Here I am sitting with tears running down my face again. It happened yesterday when I read Fred’s entry and here I go again. Even though we have no cats now (those men of mine and their allergies) I used to have two cats. Max was “mine”…he followed me wherever I went and I was constantly falling over him as he got older, slower and less agile (along with losing some of his sight and hearing). We had him for almost 17 years…he was about the same age as my oldest daughter. He too was a stray (both cats were) and once we let him in, he stayed for good. In his final years, there were many times we thought he was ready to go and then he’d bounce back….but then one morning our neighbor found him lying on his lawn, asleep he thought. It was sad, but knowing he’d lived a long and happy life made it soemwhat easier. {{{Hugs}}} to you and Fred….and may Spot J And3rson rest in peace.

  8. You and Fred did the kindest thing possible for that sweet sweet boy. He’ll be missed by ALL of us.

  12. aww Robyn I’m SO sorry to hear this, you made me cry; I can’t even begin to think how you’re holding on.
    RIP Spot
    *big hug* for you
    🙁

  17. Robyn, I am so sorry for your and Fred’s loss. A good kitty is a treasure and Spot was lucky to have a good long life with good people. Best to you both — I’ll miss seeing and hearing about Spot. Especially his “Hellew,” which was, to me, a signature Spot line.

  18. “Rest in Peace sweet Spot”. Thanks Robyn for sharing that with us. HUGS!! I miss him already.

  26. I had to walk away from my computer for a couple minutes and what I was going to say completely went out my head. But it came back so I’ll say it now.
    Beautiful tribute, just beautiful. So long Spot, you’ll be missed.

  31. Robyn & Fred — I’m so sorry to hear this. Hugs to you both. Spot was a beautiful cat. Just know that he hit the cat lottery, getting to be your pet. He was a lucky, lucky fella and you gave him a great life.

  33. I love that in all his pictures, he just has this look of contentment on his face. I think my favorite picture is the one of him curled in his catbed, with that “pet me” look on his face. So cute.
    He moved on from this world the same way he lived…gently and peacefully.
    He was a handsome boy, and even though he was quiet, it sounds like he was full of personality. I’m sure he’s saying “Hellew” to Tubby and my Betsy and is finding some sunny spots to nap it right now.
    I’m sorry it was his time. You and Fred are wonderful for not only giving him a great life, but knowing when it was time to say goodbye.

  36. I’m so sorry about Spot, he was a beautiful cat. Losing a cherished pet isn’t any different in my opinion than losing any other member of the family. We love them unconditionally and when they are gone the feeling of loss is the same.

  38. Oh man. Spot was a handsome boy! And now he gets to hang out at the Rainbow Bridge with my Leo, Maxine, Colette, Lolita, Ophelia, and Emily, and sniff every blade of grass there …
    Hugs to you!

  39. We have a Spot, sort of. His name is Cisco and before Pookie and I got married, it was just the two of them, old bachelors. They even both had their own recliner in the living room.
    Then we came along. My dog and my cat and my kids. Oh, and me, of course. And he just loves us all. Despite the fact that I totally stole his recliner.
    There’s just something to be said for old bachelors.
    RIP Spot.

  40. I am so sorry to read of Spot’s passing over. And for your pain. I’ve had to ease many pets over to the other side myself, with the help of the vet, and it’s heart-wrenchingly horrible. I will shed a tear or two here for your Spot, but know that he is in a better world now (although not many “worlds” here on earth could be much better for a kitty cat than yours!)

  42. Thanks for sharing Spot with us. You guys provided him with a wonderful life. Sorry for your loss.

  45. I’m just so sorry.
    We lost my parents cat (who picked us as a home when I was 15) yesterday, in a very similar manner. Maybe Ivy Lee and Spot are hanging out together – Ivy Lee was a pretty mellow hiding kind of fellow too – he also liked to lay in the sun, wander outside, and inspect bugs and such.

  46. I was crying at work yesterday because of Fred’s entry, and now I’m crying at work because of yours. I’m so very sorry. My heart goes out to you and Fred.

  48. Robyn, I loved seeing all the pictures and reading your stories about Spot. A very fitting tribute for Spot, the gentleman cat.

  49. I’m so sorry, Robyn. It’s never easy to let them go, and I hope he’s up chasing rabbits in kitty heaven. Big hug to you and Fred.
    We’ll miss you, Spot!!

  51. Goodbye Spot ….R I P
    Hugs to you and Fred, Robyn. I can’t imagine leaving this earth in a better place than in the comforting embrace of the people who love me. He lived a happy life thanks to the two of you.

  53. So sorry about your loss. I know we are facing the same in the near future, for our Schatzi is 17 years old and getting awfully stiff. He still likes to eat, though, so maybe he has a couple of good years in him. I know just how you feel, though, since I have had to help pets depart 10 times now. It never gets any easier.

  55. I commented at Fred’s but I wanted to let you know also I feel for you both and the other cats. Spot had a special place in my heart.

  56. I am so so sorry about dear Spot – I’m a longtime reader/lurker and a total utter cat person (we have two sister kitties 8 yrs old). I still miss and dream about the cats we had…am going to have to stop. Trying not to cry on keyboard. Hugs to you all – the other cats must miss him too, as well as you and Fred.

  59. I cried yesterday reading Fred’s account then I cry today because of yours, then there is a picture of the Tubs. 🙁 I know when we take them in, spend our lives with them, they become more than a pet. Even though it’s a fact of life we are never really ready to let them go.
    Thank you for sharing all the And3rson kitties with us!

  60. What a sweet boy, to get more mellow as the years passed. This is a loving tribute to your sweet kit. Hug the memories close.

  61. It’s true sometimes, you never realize how much you’re going to miss them until they’re actually gone.
    Rest well, little guy. You’ve earned it.

  64. Robyn & Fred, I’ve been reading each of you since about 2002 and have adored all your cat stories, and adored your cats almost as much as I adore my own. I cried like a little girl when Tubby died, and I’ve cried just the same now that Spot’s gone too. I even cried when Mr. Fancypants disappeared, because I was afraid something bad had happened, even though we’ll never know for sure, and we can only hope that some very nice, kind-to-animals person saw him and found him so beautiful and sweet that they just swooped him up to come and live with them in a happy home! I’m sorry for your loss. Poor old, good-boy Spot.

  66. *hugs* Robyn
    I bawled like a baby yesterday at Fred’s entry and now again at yours. *sniffle* Yours is absolutely beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing so much of you (and yours) as you do on a near daily basis. I always enjoy coming by your site.
    Spot is cuddled up with Tubby as we speak, I just know it!

  68. I am so sorry.
    Spot looks like a twin of our Archie, who was released from his pain on the day
    after Thanksgiving. Archie is buried in the sunny place in the garden where he
    used to love to nap, and we have planted a pomegranate over his resting place, that
    should have some beautiful flowers in the summer.
    It’s never easy, even when you know you’re doing the right thing. Even if you aren’t
    aware of it, pets have a way of becoming so much a part of your life that the empty
    spot they leave is always filled with reminders and echoes of their long presence.
    Maybe that’s the kind of immortality they have been given, the ability to make us
    aware of love and loss and our connection with all living beings.
    Again, I am so sorry.

  71. i’m so sorry, robyn. i feel like there is nothing more difficult than making that decision, having made it several times myself. spot was a sweet little guy. i hope you and fred are doing ok.

  75. I’m so glad I hang on to all my Christmas cards and therefore I still have my Spot card.
    This was a very nice tribute to a handsome (not ratty looking) boy.
    I hope you and Fred are doing ok.

  77. I am sitting here bawling my eyes out, the keys are too blurry to see them so I hope I’m not making typos. I am SO SORRY Robyn and Fred!

  78. So sorry to hear about Spot. Are the other cats reacting to him being gone- or sense something sad has happened??

  80. Sorry to hear about Spot. I had to do that with a cat a few years ago and it’s hard (but it’s harder to watch them suffer).
    Dumb question maybe: What happened with the dog? Fred mentions that he’s out of the house, but I can’t find an entry on your site or his that tells where he went. (I’m not a skimmer, either.)

  81. I’m so sorry about Spot, Robyn and Fred. It’s so DAMN hard to lose a pet.
    This entry is a beautiful tribute to Spot.

  82. I agree with what others have said — this is a really gorgeous tribute to a gorgeous cat. I’m really sorry for y’all’s loss.

  83. What a beautiful tribute! He was a good boy – and so handsome. I am so sorry for your loss.
    Love,
    Martha

  85. Dear Robyn, you and Fred are both in my thoughts. Thank you for sharing Spot’s life story today and the beautiful pictures. I too still have my card and and plan on printing this entry to enclose in it.

  87. What a beautiful, wonderful cat he was. Every and every cat creature has their own unique personality, and Spot definitely had his. Damn, but how they grow on you and you love them so, even when they’re driving you crazy with their howling, puking, peeing on the side of the litter box ways.
    Hearts and thoughts to you, Fred, and his cat family.

  88. RIP Spot… you were a lucky, lucky boy to have had a family who loved you and cared for you so well.
    Thank you to both Robyn and Fred for sharing your tributes to a wonderful member of your family. My thoughts are with you both.

  89. Goodbye Buuuuuddddeee. You’ll be missed.
    Thanks for sharing Spot and all the other And3rson cats with us Robyn and Fred. They’ve been very lucky in the people department, that’s for sure.

  91. robyn, i’m so sorry for your loss. i love this tribute-to-spot entry. the pictures are so beautiful. he was the luckiest of lucky being an anders0n cat.

  92. I am so sorry for your loss. I am a dog and cat lover. We lost our Golden Retriever Molly six years ago, she died of a brain tumor. The vet thought it was a balance issue he insisted golden’s get, but she got progressively weaker, until another vet told us the truth, and that her tumor was actually growing on a nerve in her brain that controlled her breathing. The day before we put her down, she was laying on our couch, and as I walked by, she put her head up and Oh! the sparkle in her eye, the gleam, and her tail thumped happily. Then she lay down again, and slowly weakened. I think she told me goodby, and I miss my sweet girl. You are in my prayers!

  95. The amazing thing about the Internet is that I’m crying about your kitty from across the country. Thanks for sharing your life and the Anders0n kitties with the world. That was a lovely tribute to a very good boy.

  97. After reading Fred’s entry I went and gave my cat the biggest hug because I want to let him know how much I love him and appreciate him.
    Of course now that I’m at work I can’t do that after reading this entry so I’ll just cry instead.
    What a beautiful homage to a gorgeous cat.

  98. Robyn, I loved the pictures of Spot. Count me among the others who will miss his “Hellew.”

  101. I’m so sorry to hear about Spot. He had a great life with you and Fred. I hope that’s some consolation.

  103. I’m so sorry about your loss and also that I didn’t get to know Spot better. I “lost” two cats in less than three weeks and it is heartwrenching. I have another cat now, Billie Jean, who came to me via a rescue group. I am very glad to have her.
    Pat

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